You get to choose your own relationships
July 7 - July 13, 2024 | Always Peachy Devotionals | Ownership Week 2
Who is responsible to maintain a relationship?
No, it’s not a trick question. Do you know the answer? Because I’m not sure the culture at large does. Relationships of every kind are falling apart all around us, and I wonder if it has something to do with a misunderstanding of this concept.
No relationship is automatic. You can’t really just put a healthy relationship on cruise control. Sure, there are some seasons where some relationships need to coast along on momentum, but if you want to have a thriving relationship with someone else, each person has a role in making that happen.
Both people in a relationship are responsible for maintaining it. And that goes for any kind of relationship, whether it’s marriage or friendship or colleagues.
Relationship, and by extension community, is a two-way street. That means two people can’t give 50% effort in a relationship if they want it to work. Both of them have to bring 100% effort if the relationship is going to survive.
But what about our relationship with Jesus?
That’s what you were going to ask, right? Well, even if it weren’t what you were going to ask, it’s a valid question. Jesus did everything for us in order for us to have a relationship with Him, right? So does that mean we have to earn the right to be in a relationship with Him?
No. Not at all.
What Jesus did for us was a gift. He sacrificed His life to make it possible for us to have access to a relationship with God and with Jesus Himself. We still have to choose it, and there’s nothing we can do to earn it. But after that—after we choose to follow Jesus (justification, remember?)—that’s where the learning process comes in. We have to choose to keep following Him, to keep doing life the way He did it, to walk the way He walked.
It’s a daily (sometimes hourly) challenge to keep our eyes fixed on Him, but when we give 100% of our effort to staying focused on Jesus, we will deepen our relationship with Him.
It works the same way with the people in our lives.
We can’t just say that someone is our very close friend without having walked a few miles with them and lived some life with them. Friendships and relationships require time to build and testing to prove, and there’s nothing about them that happens without choosing to love each other.
But this is all very easy to say. It’s a completely different thing to do it, to live it, to make the hard choice of being in community and relationship with other flawed, broken people just like yourself.
So this week we are going to talk about what it means to take ownership of our relationships. That doesn’t mean we turn into bossy know-it-alls. That doesn’t mean we take advantage of the people we love, and it certainly doesn’t mean we allow others to take advantage of us.
But it does mean being intentional in how we treat each other. Starting tomorrow, we’re going to talk about our personal responsibility in our relationships with a variety of types of people, and we’re going to look at what the Bible says in each situation.
Monday – Your Friends (Philippians 2:1-4)
Tuesday – Your Family (Colossians 3:18–21)
Wednesday – Your Enemies (Romans 12:20)
Thursday – Everybody Else (Matthew 7:12)
Friday – Your Authorities (Romans 13:1)
The most important key to maintaining healthy relationships with other people probably sounds cliche, but since it’s in the Bible, it’s true. And if we can learn to leverage it correctly and in truth, it will revolutionize our friendships. So this week we are going to memorize 1 Peter 4:8.
That phrase deep love doesn’t just mean appreciation or acknowledgement. Sure those things are wonderful and important in a relationship, but the concept of deep love is far more powerful than that.
It’s the Greek word ektenē (ἐκτενῆ) which means fervent or zealous love. It carries with it the connation of doing something to its maximum potential. Fully extended. All out. This isn’t just a vague inclination of fondness, my friends. This is intense agape love.
And, yes, since this is written to the Church specifically, this is talking to Christians. This is how Christians are supposed to love each other.
Can any of us say this is how we live? Can any of us say we show this kind of love toward the people in our lives? I hope so. Because that’s what God expects from us.
This doesn’t mean that boundaries aren’t important. Of course they are. This doesn’t mean that it’s okay for anyone to take advantage of us or use us or betray us. Of course it’s not. But if another brother or sister in Christ has hurt you, would you be willing to love them enough to overlook what they did?
Granted, if their behavior becomes a lifestyle, that‘s a different conversation. But Paul’s goal here is to encourage us to stop nitpicking each other. We can hold each other accountable and still show love toward each other. And if we are so busy showing each other how much we love each other in Jesus’ name, honestly, we’ll be too busy to point fingers.
Blessings to all of you as you go about your week.
Hugs!
Amy
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