Why are you crying?

Grief makes confusing emotions, especially for Christ-followers. It's important to know that tears are okay. What matters is whether or not you're grieving with hope.

Mar 22, 2024

She turned to leave and saw someone standing there. It was Jesus, but she didn’t recognize him. “Dear woman, why are you crying?” Jesus asked her. “Who are you looking for?” She thought he was the gardener. “Sir,” she said, “if you have taken him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will go and get him.” (John 20:14-15)

Emotions are hard. They’re complex and tricky, and sometimes we don’t know what to do with them. Sometimes they overwhelm us. I fully acknowledge the importance of emotion, but I really am not a fan. Emotions make a mess.

I’m so thankful that God never shies away from our emotions. We are never too much for Him, and He is always willing to listen to us when we need to express what we’re feeling. He doesn’t just welcome it, He invites it.

Mary Magdalene is an important figure among the followers of Christ. She is mentioned so many times and at so many vital events, we know that she was a devoted follower of Jesus. (And that’s it, you Dan Brown fans, nothing else.) It’s also noteworthy that Mary is the first person Jesus appeared to after His resurrection.

The other women saw an angel. Mary met Jesus. She just didn’t know it was Him.

Mary sat in the garden where Jesus had been buried, weeping because His body was gone. She must have thought grave robbers had come for Him. So when Jesus asked her why she was crying, her response was to ask where Jesus body had been taken.

Our feelings can hit us so strongly that they rob us of our common sense sometimes. Emotions can be so powerful that they strip us of speech or thought. Grief is so confusing.

I got word last night that a friend I’ve known for many years doesn’t have much time left. She’s a wife, a mom, and she’s in her mid-40s. MS is a terrible disease. She’s lived in pain for decades. She’s endured terrible things for the sake of her kids, so that she could live long enough to see them to adulthood. And her time is done, or at least that’s what the doctors say.

On the other side of this is joy for her, and I can rejoice in that. But her husband and her children are going to miss her. I haven’t been an active part of their lives for many years, and my heart is broken for them. I don’t even know how to pray. How do you pray for someone to “get better” when that really means asking for them to die?

We’re all going to die some day. That person you love more than your own life, they are going to die. And if you don’t go with them at the same time, you’re going to be left behind. Separated. That’s what death actually means. Thanatos. Separation. In most contexts it indicates separation of the soul from the physical body.

But what is death for someone who has eternal life in Christ? What was Jesus really asking Mary Magdalene when she wept by His empty tomb?

As far as Jesus was concerned, He’d told His disciples this was going to happen. He would be arrest, crucified, killed, buried, and resurrected. He told them. Repeatedly. This was all part of His plan, but Mary, who absolutely believed Him, couldn’t stop crying.

Maybe I’m reading too much into it, but I think Jesus wanted her to see Him. That even in the hopelessness of that moment, in the depths of her grief and loss and pain, He wanted her to see Him. Because He was there.

It’s not that we shouldn’t cry. Crying is normal, and in some cases it’s even good for us. And it’s not that we shouldn’t be sad. Of course, we can be sad. Loss is worthy of mourning. When we are separated from someone we love, grief is normal.

But if Jesus is there, you will always have hope. He died and was buried, and yet He lives. And because He lives, we will live too even after we die. Death has no power over those who know Jesus.

So if you are mourning today or grieving or feeling the loss of something and your emotions are all knotted and tangled and painful, think about why Jesus asked Mary this question. It wasn’t that He wanted her to stop crying or even to stop feeling sad. I think He wanted to remind her that even when life feels hopeless, with Him, there is always hope.