What happens when friends fall out?
February 19-23, 2024 | Always Peachy Devotionals | Friendship Week 3
Friends are friends forever.
Until they aren’t, right?
I don’t want to talk about this, but we can’t do a real study of friendship and community without talking about what happens when friends fall out.
I don’t like to focus on the negative, but it’s important to deal with what happens when friends fall out. Because no matter how much we might wish for it, sometimes friends don’t stay friends forever. Life happens. People change. Priorities shift. Relationships fall apart.
What do you do when that happens? What is the biblical response when your friendships disappear? How are you supposed to react, behave, or feel when you lose a community through no choice of your own?
There are several different responses, and I’m sure you already can think of one. Forgive. Right? Yes, but that’s not just an option. Hate to break it to you, but forgiveness is required no matter what happened, no matter how many times it happened. You must forgive, and God takes it very very seriously.
But after you forgive, then what? That’s the real question. You must forgive. If you know Jesus, forgiveness isn’t an option. You must. But that doesn’t mean you have to stay friends with the person who hurt you. That doesn’t mean you have to remain in the community where you were hurt.
Hurt happens. We all hurt each other. It’s part of being human, and in some cases, you can pick up the pieces and move on together. But sometimes you can’t. Sometimes you shouldn’t (and you do anyway). How do you tell the difference?
How do you know when the friends you’ve made are bad for you? How can you tell if you should stay in a friendship that is causing harm to you? (That’s a red flag, by the way. I hope you realize that without me saying it.)
Always forgive, yes, but that doesn’t mean you always have to stay. This week that’s what we’re talking about. In our broken world, relationships are broken too, and we are going to hurt each other. But there’s a difference between choosing to stay with a friend who is trying to do better and choosing to stay with a friend who is having a negative influence on your life.
Feb 19 - You can always forgive (Colossians 3:13)
Feb 20 - You can make bad friends (1 Corinthians 15:33)
Feb 21 - You can be changed by your friends (Proverbs 22:24-25)
Feb 22 - You can sin and still belong to Jesus (James 4:4)
Feb 23 - You can say no to your friends (Proverbs 12:26 NIV)
Entering into a committed friendship with someone doesn’t mean you surrender your common sense or your relationship with Jesus. No friend gets to tell you how to follow God. That’s between you and God alone, and if you have a friend who is trying to lead you down a path you know is sinful, you aren’t required to go along with it.
For a memory verse this week, I really felt led to one that would remind us of the danger that friendship can pose—as well as the blessing it can be. So that’s why we’re going to memorize Proverbs 13:30.
Pretty straightforward, right? It’s easy to say, but it’s much harder to do and to live.
No friend should take the place of Jesus in your life. This is something the Bible talks about a lot, just not always in the terms of friendship. But one thing God gets really hot about is anything or anyone taking His place in our lives. So if you’ve got friends who are vying for God’s place in your heart, that’s a relationship you need to reconsider. Now.
You can absolutely make friends with people who have a negative influence on your life. It’s so easy to do. But when you realize that it’s happening, it’s vital that you get away from them. The people you invite into your life need to be wise. They need to love Jesus. They need to be devoted to doing what God says is right. If your friends tick all those boxes, being friends with them will make you better.
Take an honest look at your relationships. Who makes you better? Who prods you to do things that are dangerous, harmful, or sinful? The decision is yours, but the longer you hold on to friendships that will lead you toward destruction, the less time you’ll have to accomplish the things God wants to do in you and through you.
Praying for all of you that you will have supernatural discernment to faithfully manage your relationships.
Hugs
Amy
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