Apologizing when you aren’t to blame
I don't know why sometimes God allows us to bear responsibility for someone else's failures. But I know that Jesus did it for me.
No one can take my life from me. I sacrifice it voluntarily. For I have the authority to lay it down when I want to and also to take it up again. For this is what my Father has commanded. (John 10:18)
I had to take a hit once, one that I didn’t deserve. I had to bear the responsibility of a failure that wasn’t my own. I didn’t want to do it. My inner perfectionist, rule-follower, people-pleasing self railed against the idea of accepting blame for something I hadn’t done. But if someone didn’t accept responsibility, the whole project would collapse. And the perception of my shortcomings were less important than making sure the project got done.
I found out afterward that the authority figure I was reporting to fully expected me to point fingers at the actual guilty party. When I didn’t, they were surprised.
Ironic that my authority already knew who had actually failed.
It’s not fun to take the blame when you don’t deserve it, but sometimes you have to prioritize. Granted, maybe your principles won’t allow you to bear the blame for something you didn’t do, and I get that. But I can’t help but think about how Jesus handled His situation.
He didn’t have to go to the cross. He could have called down legions of angels. He could have snapped His fingers and washed His hands of humanity, and we would have deserved it. We still deserve it.
But He didn’t.
It was God’s plan to crush Jesus (Isaiah 53:10), but Jesus volunteered.
He knew He didn’t deserve the blame, but there was no other way to move forward. There was no other way to redeem lost humanity.
Obviously our situations are different. We aren’t faced with the same choices as Jesus was today, but there will come a time when you’ll have to choose whether to protect the perception of your reputation or make a choice for the greater good.
When I was in high school, we read a short story by Leo Tolstoy called “God Sees the Truth But Waits.” It’s a tough read, and it doesn’t exactly end the way you might expect. But to this day, I remember it. It made a big impression on me.
In case you don’t have time to read it, basically the main character is sent to prison for something he didn’t do. He knew who committed the crime, but it wouldn’t have done any good to accuse him. Many years passed. The main character’s family all died, believing him a criminal. Until finally, the actual guilty person confesses to him and begs forgiveness. And he grants it.
It’s a hard read. But the main character eventually concludes that he can only rely on God alone to know the truth and grant mercy.
I don’t know why sometimes we have to stand in the gap between people. I don’t know why God allows us to bear false accusations. I don’t know why sometimes we have to bear the unjust burden of someone else’s failures.
But I know Jesus had to do it for me. So when it becomes obvious that the only way forward is to take a hit I don‘t deserve, I want to do it the way Jesus did.
If that’s you, you can know one thing for sure: God sees. He knows. And there will always, always be a purpose for it that is greater than we can understand right now.
Question for Reflection
Have you ever blamed someone unjustly?
What is the worst thing that could happen if you take the blame for someone else’s failure?
What would be a greater purpose that would convince you accepting blame unjustly would be worth it?
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